


The Missing Piece

by blossom_angel85



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-10-16 11:51:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17549177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blossom_angel85/pseuds/blossom_angel85
Summary: Kono had felt like she always missing something in her life.. Surfing and Becoming a cop helped to fulfil that void a little, however she still felt it aching away at her insides.. That was till she met Steve McGarrett when Chin asked for her assistance on Steve's fathers murder investigation. Follows Kono & Steve as they realize they both mean more to each other then just friends.





	1. Ma hea e hele ai mai nei?  (Where to go from here?)

**Author's Note:**

> Normally I do my author’s notes at the end of the chapter but on this one occasion I will do it here at the beginning. I’m a huge huge McRoll fan, that will always be my OTP, however I was asked in my private inbox by a McKono fan to write a McKono story. I do ship it to a certain extent but not anywhere near as passionately as I do McRoll 
> 
> I am starting this story from Kono’s POV but it might possibly change as I usually do in stories between the two main characters and it is starting directly from the end of season one, beginning of season two, though this first chapter was setting down Kono’s thoughts and feelings . 
> 
> I also as I was writing it couldn’t just pretend Catherine doesn’t exist, so she will be in it, but the main ship will be McKono. I will eventually write Catherine and Steve as just friends for this story to have a primary McKono ship, and may bring back Commander Harrington or someone else for Catherine. 
> 
> Please McRoll fans, don’t hate on me for this story where McRoll is not the main focus.. It was hard enough for me simply writing this chapter knowing that Steve and Cath aren’t going to stay together,  I am merely trying to tell a story for someone who asked me to do this..
> 
> Also though this is a McKono piece, I as the writer reserve the right to write it as organically as I can, so that means if it doesn’t feel right to me as I continue writing, I will either stop or change it. This is my first time writing for this ship, so  I’m not going to force myself to continue writing if it doesn’t feel right to me. 

 

 

 

All of her life there had been something missing from Kono Kalakaua’s life.. She had never been sure what it was, it just felt like a huge piece of herself was missing. Surfing had managed to fill that void somewhat but the day she wreaked her knee and knew she would never surf competitively again, that missing piece had started to eat away at her again and again.. She lay awake at night wondering what was bothering her besides her ability to compete being taken away from her, becoming even more upset and distant.. 

Her cousin had always been there for her, there had not been a day that went by that he hadn’t been at every surf contest she had competed in and even now with her surgery and rehabilitation, she always had Chin by her side even though he was dealing with his own demons at work, he was always there every day at the hospital, at her appointments even if her mother or father went with her as well.. Her mother and father were the only family that never turned Chin away even when he had been accused of stealing the money from HPD.. 

She never believed what happened, never believed that he took that money.. Her faith in him never wavered and it was the fact that she had so much trust and faith in him that prompted her to become a cop herself, redefining herself and changing her path.. She could have become a washed out injured surfer, but Ian Adams had gone above and beyond for her, paying for her surgery, her rehabilitation and even keeping her on the team, teaching the new up and coming generation of surfers make the switch to professional competitive surfing. 

It was something she was proud of, following a new dream and becoming a cop, wanting to make something of herself and hoping to one day pay Ian back for his generosity, even though he had continued to insist that she didn’t need to pay him back a dime. The only people that mattered to her were her family, and Ian Adams.. Her parents, Chin, and Ian were the ones that helped push her to redefine her life and she had.. She was a week from graduating from the Police academy when she was given an opportunity every cop dreamed of.. 

As soon as she set eyes on Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett for the first time, she was a woman wanting to impress her new boss.. The trust Chin had in her to bring her into this was not anything she would ever forget, and for Steve to not only allow her to go undercover before she graduated, he was set on making her a permanent member of his new task force before she had even officially graduated from the academy.  Though Kono wasn’t new to wearing a bikini by a long shot, she was a little flustered meeting her new boss and his partner wearing on, not escaping her notice the looks both Steve and Danny had at how she was dressed. 

It started out as a silly little school girl crush, but over time her crush on her boss developed and became bigger and bigger, always noticing how he protected her from getting hurt as much as possible and she knew there was more to it then just a team leader wanting to protect one of his team or the fact she was a woman.. Though they became close friends, she didn’t dare tell him how she felt because she wasn’t willing to risk their friendship or her job on five-o. Whenever she was near him though , that missing piece inside her disappeared completely. 

There was also the fact that he seemed to have someone already, and she was already becoming friends with Catherine Rollins, She wasn’t sure if or just how serious the two of them were, but she really liked Catherine as well, so she wasn’t willing to hurt the woman either if she was involved seriously with Steve.. It was why she couldn’t ever say a word, it would ruin everything, and she wasn’t one of those women that broke up a relationship when she wasn’t even sure how her boss felt for her.. Sure there had been some lingering looks every now and then but that didn’t mean he wanted her like she wanted him. 

Now everything seemed like it was going to hell.. Kono had been suspended from duty pending an investigation with IA, Steve was being charged with Governor Jameson’s murder even though Kono knew that was a load of bullshit.. Steve might want the person responsible for who orchestrated his father’s murder but he would never go as far as murdering the Governor of Hawaii.. She just wished she had been there with him to work on this case, she would have gone with him when he confronted the Governor.

Five-o was now disbanded, Kono suspended from even HPD duty, Chin having taken the promotion HPD gave him, Danny out of work seeing as how he was poached from HPD by Steve to join the task-force, and HPD never really wanted a haole working for them, Steve thrown in jail for a murder he didn’t commit, and Kono just felt so helpless.. This had been their family, Chin and Kono finally found a home with five-o as had Steve and Danny.. and now it had been destroyed by the Wo Fat and the very woman that had asked Steve to set the task force up.. 

Remembering the day she had seen him having his photograph taken when he was taken into custody, she had been given orders at the time to hand in her badge and weapon while they investigated.. They had sneaked a glance at each other, both surprised at the events that had transpired, Kono wanting to ask what was going on and why Steve was under arrest and having his mug shot taken, but knowing that nobody would tell her what was going on and that no one would let her near Steve to get his version of events.. Seeing the look in his eyes, she was heart broken, wanting to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay knowing it was a lie and she had no idea if things would ever be okay again. 

That had only been a week ago, and now here she was standing waiting to be shown into the visitor’s room to see Steve, feeling nervous and scared all at the same time.. She hadn’t spoken to him at all, only had Chin and Danny’s accounts of the events that transpired to lead him here to go by and needing to see him.. Just to see how he was doing, to make sure he was okay.. Yes he was a Navy SEAL and he most likely had endured worse things in his life then being locked up in jail, but still, she wouldn’t take Chin and Danny’s word for it, she needed to see for herself how the man she had slowly fallen in love with was doing. 

                                                     


	2. ka maʻi maikaʻi (Lonesome Loser)

This was not how he expected it to go down.. Steve McGarrett had been played by Wo Fat, and had been placed exactly where Governor Jameson had wanted him to be. If only he had trusted his gut instincts he had when he first met Jameson at Pear Harbour the day he came home after his father was killed.. No instead of listening to that gut instinct that told him she couldn’t be trusted, he had taken the job and created the task force, not knowing that all along, his boss, the person he answered directly to was involved in his father’s death.. Hearing that his task force was disbanded, that his Ohana had no home anymore, that made him feel the loneliest he had ever felt in his life.. 

The life of a Sailor is often said to be a lonely one, never really having ties to anyone place, always in hostile situations, never able to really have a life, much less a love life and add in the fact that Lieutenant Commander Steven J McGarrett was not only an officer in the United States Naval Services, he was a decorated SEAL, it all pointed to a very lonely life for him..Of course he had friends in the Navy and he had his Catherine, but at the same time, he often wondered what it would be like if he had chosen a different career.. 

Don’t assume anything, McGarrett was a proud third generation Navy, and he loved being able to get up everyday and serve his country, and to able to protect his homeland, however, he still did have those thoughts everyday, though unless his past could be changed, he couldn’t see any other future for him other then being in the Navy. His mother’s so called ‘death’, and his father splitting his family apart, moving Steve and Mary to the mainland, both in separate locations was the beginning of the making of the very Steve McGarrett that stands before you today. 

All of his adult life, he trained to become the best man and the best Navy SEAL that he could become, pushing himself beyond even what his limits were, knowing that in times of war, he needed to know that he couldn’t be compromised, that he wouldn’t risk betraying his country and his fellow SEAL’s for anything. Though he had issues with his father moving him away from Hawaii, he still wanted the man to be proud of him, and he was grateful of Joe bailing him out the day he stole a car in Carlsbad when he was still only a cadet in his first week of military school because otherwise he wouldn’t have gone on to become a Navy SEAL and then onto five-o. 

It was hard being away from his father and his sister, but as time went by, instead of it becoming easier, it became harder.. Instead of admitting that though, swallowing his pride and going to see his father in Hawaii on a more regular basis, he did what he had been taught to do by his father.. He pushed his emotions to the side and pretended that the didn’t exist. On the rare occasions he would go see his father, they only talked about things you would talk about with an acquaintance, nothing of substance, nothing of importance, and that was something that he really regretted now that his father was gone. 

Perhaps it was why he allowed himself to open up to Catherine Rollins the way he did.. She always managed to be able to uncover the vulnerability in him, get him to open up and be honest with her about everything, including his feelings and emotions.. While he was angry at his father, he always spoke highly of him to Catherine, and hoped that one day he would be able to introduce her to him.. She had somehow managed to steal his heart, made him feel safe.. 

Whenever Catherine was around, he never felt that lonely pit of despair, though on the occasions when they were away from each other which was more then time spent together, it was rough and hard, and made him feel as alone as he felt that first night on a cold military bed at the Army and Naval Academy. Constantly being away from each other took it’s toll, and they had several on/off periods over the years but now that he had decided to take on the Governor’s task force and transfer to the reserves, setting down more permanent roots on his home island, he wanted to settle down, and find what every one was always searching for.. 

While he hadn’t minded the causal tone of his relationship with Catherine while they both were in active military, now that he was settled down on Oahu, and Catherine was still doing her duty on the Enterprise, he was looking for more of a commitment and while he never would think of asking her to retire from the Navy before she was ready, he was getting itchy feet himself, and knowing that by his age, his father was married and Doris had given birth to him was not making things easier for him. 

The transition to being on the mainland and not in combat situations all the time was made easier by having assembled a great group of people to his new task-force.. Danny Williams, though the man seemed irritated by Steve, he had obviously did a little bit of digging before he went by his apartment, talked to his old colleagues at NPD (Newark Police Department) and he was impressed with everything he had learnt about him.. 

Talking to his partner Meka, Steve came to the realization that Meka had bonded and trusted Danny with his life, and speaking honestly to Steve when he mentioned he was thinking of recruiting him for his task force, Meka spoke only high praise and encouraged Steve to make him his partner, knowing that his talents as a Detective in HPD were going to waste because the Captain didn’t approve of a haole getting a job over a local within the Honololu Police Department. 

Recruiting Chin Ho Kelly was another easy decision, Though the man had been fired and lost his badge from HPD because of something that they believed he did when he was innocent, Steve had always looked up to Chin even from his days playing high school football and emulating all of his plays on the field and the fact that whenever he did speak to his father either by phone or in person on the odd occassion, he always spoke about Chin knowing Steve had considered him to be a local hero. 

John having always considered Chin as one of the best partners he had ever worked with trusted him with his life and that was exactly the reason that he trusted Chin himself.. If Chin said he didn’t do what HPD and IA accused him of, then he trusted his word. His father was a good judge of character and for the same reason as to why he wanted Danny for his fresh eyes and perspective, he also wanted Chin for his local knowledge being that Steve hadn’t lived on the island in many years.. 

When Chin had mentioned he had the perfect person in mind for an undercover operation involving a criminal with ties to human trafficking, he never thought he would be meeting a woman as beautiful but also as highly skilled as Kono Kalakaua.. That first meeting blew him away for a moment, she had him fooled, then when she gave the guy that cut into her wave what he called a right cross, but she called a love tap, he knew she had the guts and the experience to do the job.. 

Watching her in the water, he was impressed with her skill in the water, listening to what Chin was saying about her reinventing herself as a cop when she blew out her knee and wouldn’t be able to compete again professionally. Something else Chin said stuck in his mind, “She graduates from the police academy in a week, unfortunately she’s family so HPD will never take her seriously”. He was all bout giving people chances, which is why he had brought in Danny and Chin, giving both of them a chance to do something more and become part of an elite crime task force, and so he already knew that despite how the undercover op went, he was willing to give her a chance. 

There was just something about her that drew him to her, and that second case they had taken on where she had been put in danger, he felt it needed to be said that he and the other guys would do anything and everything they could to protect her, even giving her his own kel-tec nine mil as a back up weapon. She showed her skills and how much of an asset she was to the team and he admired her.. Right from the first time he met her, he felt she was similar to him in many respects, tough exterior, but soft on the inside even if they didn’t often like showing their emotions. 

Over the course of the year they had been working together, the four of them, she was the only one that had taken to calling him boss, but it was the tone and the way she looked at him when she said it that made him a little weak in the knees if he was honest with himself, his heart always speeding up a little every time she said it. Though he still had Catherine in his life, they weren’t exclusive at this point, seeing as how they were still in different stages of their career, Catherine seemingly nowhere ready to settle down and call the island her home. 

However, though at the same time, five-o had immunity and means to chase bad guys, there was still protocol for dating a colleague, especially when that colleague is under your leadership. He had come to care for both Danny and Chin as brothers, but and he had tried, it was really hard to look at Kono and care for her as a sister.. His first instinct when he first met her was how attractive she is, but as he got to know her, her couldn’t help but grow feelings for her.. 

It was a thin line though for him, he didn’t know how she felt and as the five-o leader, he couldn’t really say anything because it would be considered unethical and a conflict of interest plus he also didn’t want to risk the friendship that they had created as well, she had become one of his closest friends, one that he went surfing, swimming or running with, or even just a causal movie night on the odd occasion and losing be too much for him to bare. Coming face to face with her while he was being photographed and she was being told she was suspended was a surreal experience, he was in shock and part of him wanted to comfort her, but he couldn’t.. 

A week after being arrested and charged with the Governor’s murder, he was sitting in the boxed window visitor’s room, unsure of who was coming to see him.. They had simply pulled him out of his cell and told he had a visitor.. He was fairly certain it would have been Danny, the man had already been to see him every day since he had been thrown in jail, giving him updates the best he could, but what he was not expecting was to see Kono walk into view and have a seat at the chair.. Heart speeding up knowing she was there, feeling ashamed she had to see him this way but also relieved that her being here meant she most likely didn’t believe what had happened.. 

Sighing softly, never taking his eyes off her, he picked up the phone receiver, her doing the same thing, a sad smile on her face as she spoke first in that soft sweet voice he had come to crave hearing, “Hey there boss”. Despite five-o being disbanded and her being suspended as well, she still called him boss, giving him a smile at hearing her say that.. It meant a lot to him, his own voice a little rougher then usual from not having been used as much over the last week, “Miss me already Kono”, attempting humor in a bid to keep things light. 

Though in that moment seeing her struggle with her emotions at seeing him locked up was almost too much for him though he knew he couldn’t walk away from her, not now.. He wanted to talk to her anyway, make sure she was doing okay, and give her as much hope as he could when things right now felt so hopeless for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, Thank you so much to you all for giving me so much support on this one. I was a little hesitant to try my hand at this one seeing as how I am a McRoll shipper first and foremost, and I wasn’t sure how a lot of McRoll shippers would react to this one, but I am so happy it is being well received.. 
> 
> This second chapter is mainly from Steve’s POV, however I will be writing all future chapters the same way I have been my other stories, with both POV’s throughout each chapter. 
> 
> With stories I am looking at developing, it does depend on how much feedback I get that determines how much muse I have for a story, and all of my Hawaii five-o works in progress have given me high muse because of all of you lovely people.


	3. Inā hewa kekahi mea i kaʻu pēpē, ua hewa wau (When something is wrong with my baby, something is wrong with me)

 

The humor, it was what she loved the most about Steve, the way he could always see the lighter things in life despite having a true knowledge of just how dark things could get. “You know it boss”, she answered coyly, smiling softly with just a hint of a blush on her face. “How are you doing anyway?, she added, knowing that he was doing his best to hide whatever pain physical or emotional he might have been in but needing to know anyway. “Missed you too Kono.. I’m fine, please don’t worry about me, I’m gonna be just fine no matter what happens”. 

The Navy SEAL had been in worse conditions before in his life, and a little jail time was not going to change who he was.. He knew he was a good man, and that he was innocent of Governor Jameson’s murder.. Danny, Jenna and Joe where all on it, hopefully Chin was as well.. He didn’t begrudge Chin for doing what he had to do.. He knew how it looked, he had gone there with a gun, taken out the security feeds and had held his weapon at her while he spoke about getting her to confess, so he knew if it was him and HPD were surrounding the place, he would have done the same thing. 

In her heart, she knew that Steve would be fine, but she still couldn’t help but worry about him. She cared about him, as a friend but also as a woman whom had begun to have feelings for him that went beyond a friendship feel. It was tough for her to keep a brave face but she knew she had to.. She didn’t want Steve to see her upset because then he might get a little upset or struggle more in there if he knew how hard she was taking this. “Anyway, enough about me, How are you doing Kono? I wanted to talk when we see each other that night at HPD, but I know they never would have let me”. 

This was something she was trying to put to the back of her mind for now, this here with Steve was more important then what she was going through, well in her mind as well.. Subconsciously she was worried about her future.. Surfing had been her life and that was taken away from her, so she wasn’t sure what she would do if she couldn’t be a cop anymore.. It was her life.. “I’m just trying to put it in the back of my mind for now, I don’t want to really think about it that much, especially when you are in here, it just doesn’t seem like it is that much of a big deal compared to what you are going through”. 

Moving his head, he looked at her, his eyebrows raised a little.. He could sense she was trying to downplay it, make it not seem as important as it really was but he knew how much being a cop and working for five-o meant to her.. “Kono.. yes we are dealing with different things, but there is no more weight over one or the other, they are equally important and you know if you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me”. This was another punishment for Steve, not being able to have visits with his friends without it being between glass and a phone reciever.. They knew five-o’s reputation and didn’t want them attempting anything. 

Nodding her head, she sighed softly, he was right though focusing on Steve right now and offering her services to Danny in an unofficial capacity was what she was planning on doing when she left here. It was just something she needed to do, she couldn’t sit at home just doing nothing till she knew that Steve was okay and they had found a way to prove that he didn’t kill the Governor. “I know Steve.. I just want to work on getting you out of there, then we will deal with whatever comes next for me”. Truth was, she wasn’t sure if she would be getting her job back, but it wasn’t something she was willing to think about right now. 

Before too long, their time was up, only allowing half an hour with him and so when it was time, a guard promptly tapped her shoulder to get her attention, telling her visiting hours were over.. Sighing she leaned in a little and smiled sadly.. “I gotta go Steve, but I’ll come back tomorrow”. Nodding his head, he took a breath in and sighed a little himself, “I’ll talk to you soon Kono.. You take care of yourself”. It was hard saying goodbye.. Usually when saying goodbye, it was at the end of the day and given they would see each other back at work bright and early the next day, but now it felt more precious. 

Kono smiled softly, kissing her fingers and then placing them on the glass, her eyes getting teary when he did the same thing, putting his own fingers against the glass where hers were before she whispered softly into the receiver, “Aloha Steve”, putting the receiver back on the cradle and taking one last long look at him before he too hung the phone up and was escorted away from the window and back to his cell, Kono standing up and watching till he was out of sight, and covering her mouth as she finally let a sob escape, her eyes welling up with tears, walking over to the door and heading back out to her car, her heart breaking the whole time. 

It had only been around several hours since Kono had seen Steve in prison and he looked good despite being in an orange prison jumpsuit, his hair and facial hair being a little longer. She had felt a little hope at seeing his smile, knowing that they would somehow get him out, her own issues being put to the side but now she was freaking out for another reason entirely. She had heard since leaving the prison that Steve had been stabbed by none other then Victor Hesse, the man Steve put in jail for murdering his own father. 

Part of her wanted to curl up in a ball and cry herself to sleep, but the other half of her knew that she needed to be strong for Steve, and the rest of the team.. She needed to do whatever she could to be there for him, getting half way to the hospital only to hear over the police radio that Steve had managed to escape, sighing a little softly in relief at knowing he well enough to make a move like that.. Now she had to just find him first before the police got to him. HPD didn’t have any loyalty towards five-o apart from a select few like Duke and Pua so that is why she needed to find him because someone was going to end up hurt and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be Steve, that she was sure of. 

“Steve”, crying out as she practically threw herself into his arms and wrapping her arms around him, hugging him tight. Having finally heard from Danny that Steve had gone to Max’s house, Kono had driven over there, leaving her own car two blocks away and running the rest of the way, still trying to regulate her breathing back to normal as she squeezed him a little tighter before pulling away to look him over, Steve’s smiling yet tired eyes looking back at her, “I’m fine Kono, I promise, everything is fine”. Her heart was racing and she still didn’t know if she should believe him, eyeing off Max and asking silently for his opinion. 

“It is of my opinion that Commander McGarrett will be just fine, he lost some blood, but in time, he will heal just fine”. Steve chuckled a little, and shook his head, “What did I tell you buddy”, Grinning and nodding his head, Max understood, “Sorry, Steve will be just fine”. Patting the Doctor’s shoulder, Steve couldn’t help but smirk a little, “There, that wasn’t so hard now was it Max?” Turning to face Kono once more, Steve smiled, “See, Max just gave me the all clear, you happy now?”

Grinning, she hugged him again, nodding, closing her eyes and sighing softly, “Yes, I am satisfied now.. but what do we do now? HPD is still looking everywhere for you, they will take you back to Halawa if they find you”. She was still worried, she had seen him and been able to hug him this time, but what if he was taken back to prison? What if this was the last time she got to hold him? She couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.. “We’re working on that.. Danny and were just about ready to go see a contact Joe White has put me in touch with..”. 

There wasn’t much that Steve didn’t sense with his team mates and he knew Kono was still worried, “You go keep tracking Wo Fat’s men, keep on their tail alright.. I need all of you if we are going to clear my name”. Sighing softly, Kono knew that Steve was right, they needed to work this like a normal case which meant splitting up and doing what needed to be done.. “Okay, but if you.. or any of you”, she looked around at the rest of them, “hear anything, or need me, call.. I mean it”. She felt him reach for her hand and he squeezed it softly, “Alright, out of here, don’t make me tell you twice Kono”, he was a little playful now, nodding his head towards the door. 

“Alright, Alright, I’m going boss”, her quiet chuckle when she let his hand go and walked towards the door, then turning, “I don’t have to tell you all to be careful now do I?”, she asked them all,  raising her eyebrows at them, “Same to you cuz”, Chin replied back to Kono, both Chin, Danny not escaping their notice that Steve and Kono seemed a little more touchy feely with each other, though it could have just been the emotional state that everyone had been in the last week.. It had been tough for them all.. Each going through their own issues, all feeling lonelier without five-o but feeling a little better working a case together even if it was one of their own. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for the support on this story. I really appreciate it. I hope you all really enjoy this one as well. I am going off episode 1 of season 2 for this chapter, and it will be essentially staying the path for the rest of season two, with possible flash backs etc to season 1 and other moments from previous chapters not shown originally, like off camera moments. 


	4. Pau ia i waho  (Airing it all out)

 

 

**One week later...  
** **Kalakaua Residence...**

Sitting alone in her house, it was hard not to think of everything she had been through recently.. Seeing Steve in prison and fighting to save his name along with her own suspension and internal investigation about stealing the money from the asset forfeiture locker.. There is nothing she would have done differently, though she did feel more alone now then ever.. 

It had been a massive relief to know that Steve had been cleared of all charges in relation to Governor Jameson’s death, that was one lot of issues out of the way and whilst she knew Steve had fought to get her reinstated, it seemed hopeless... That was until of course Captain Fryer paid her visit the day before her hearing was held. 

As part of Captain Fryer’s deal, Kono had to stay quiet about their arrangement.. He was giving her something a lot of cop’s in her shoes wouldn’t have be given.. A second chance.. It was a closely guarded secret that most everyone in HPD knew that it was Five-O that had taken that money and that Governor Jameson had put it all back before it looked like it was missing. 

That was hard.. To not tell anyone.. It was hard for her to turn away from her friends but was even harder to act the bitch towards her cousin Chin of all people.. She knew that he /knew/ exactly what she was going through and how she felt about it all.. How lonely it could feel, and how isolated you were from everyone.. 

Still, she had a job to do.. Publicly her name had been dragged through the mud, and that is exactly what Captain Fryer had wanted.. It made it easy for her to go undercover and initiated into Frank Delano’s group of cops turned bad gang. This was her chance to show them all what she could do.. What Kono didn’t know was that Delano had been Fryer’s old partner and that was the main reason for this whole thing.. 

Revenge.. That is what it was all about, however right now Kono was none the wiser.. 

Though she still technically had  job a and was being paid as an undercover cop, She had to make it seem as though she had been ultimately fired by HPD for her part in stealing the money, she couldn’t freely spend time with Chin, Danny and Steve, not if she wanted Delano and his men to think she was like them.. 

What made it harder for her was her ever growing feelings for Steve.. She hadn’t met to fall in love with him, she wasn’t even sure if she was in love at this point, but she was very much attracted to him, both physically, emotionally and mentally as well. She had a crush on him from the first moment she met him.. 

It didn’t seem to help at all when she began to get closer to him as a friend.. Getting to know him and realizing just how amazing he was as a man and as a person.. It made her slowly start to move from just a crush to falling in love with the man.. Not being able to see him or really talk to him was hard for her.. She knew he wouldn’t approve of her /so called/ new lifestyle that she had to hide from everyone. 

It was better this way for now.. That she keep her distance from them all.. 

Not that Steve thought so in the slightest.. He hadn’t been messaging her as much as Chin had been, but he had texted her a couple of times to see if she wanted to go surfing with him or even on a hike with him... For now, as much as she wanted to talk to him, and be around him, she knew that this was for the best. 

Her cover couldn’t be blown right now, and she knew that if Delano and his friends knew that she was still associated with five-o in anyway that her cover would most likely be blown. Sighing softly, she didn’t really notice the tears rolling down her cheeks as she sat on her couch, watching tv and not really paying any attention to what show was on. 

It wasn’t till she heard a knock on her door that she even felt the tears, wiping them quickly she headed to the front door, and opened it.. Surprised to see Danny standing there on her front porch.. She was used to Chin coming over unannounced, but this was the first time Danny had come over without announcing himself.. 

It had come to Danny’s attention over the last few months that his co-workers, Steve and Kono had undeniable feelings for each other and whilst Danny himself even had a crush on Kono when they first met, he himself was now at a point in his life where Kono felt more like family then anything else. “You don’t write, you don’t call..”, he started with playfully smiling softly, leaning against the frame of the door. 

“I’m sorry Danny.. I just.. I didn’t know what to say to be honest”. She leaned in to him and hugged him.. She knew Danny had a crush on her, or at least knew he did once.. She could sense the moment it changed for him and like Chin, he was now more like  brother to her then anything else.. Nodding his head, Danny understood completely.. All of them seemed to be going through changes or issues.. 

Steve had been dealing with the fact he had been arrested and placed in jail for a murder he did not do, and clearing his name.. Danny had to deal with helping Steve and with his own personal issues with his ex wife Rachel and the fact that within a week he had gone from being told he was going to be a father again and he had his family, his ex wife and daughter back, to now being told the baby was in fact Stan’s and she was moving back in with him.. 

Chin.. Well he had his job at HPD back, but Danny knew at the same time that he was doing it a bit tough, trying to do the right thing in rejoining HPD but at the same time quietly trying to save Steve’s behind as well as worrying about Kono and how she was taking her suspension.. And Kono.. He knew it was tough for her.. She had to give up competitive surfing and had reinvented herself as a cop and now it all looked like that was being taken away from her as well.. 

Add the fact that she was pinning away for Steve and watching him go through this all alone.. It was easy to push everyone away and want to hide away from the world.. Had he not had getting Steve out of trouble to focus on, he might have done the same thing when Rachel told him the baby was Stan’s and she was moving back in with him.. So he knew how easy it was to not want to burden people with your troubles.. 

“We’re all worried about you Kono..  I know Chin has tried a couple times to talk to you.. Steve.. I know Steve has tried to message you a few times as well..”. Sighing softly, he looked at her, walking inside once she had stepped aside and closed the door.. “It’s better this way Danny”. Trying to explain how she felt was not going to be enough, but it had to be... Yes she did honestly feel it was better this way, even if Fryer hadn’t recruited her.. 

“Better in what way Kono?.. Better for whom? You or us?.. I know you are only a year out of the academy and this was your second chance at a new life.. but you can’t shut yourself off from everyone.. Hell you might not be a cop anymore but that don’t mean you don’t have other avenues..”. He began talking animatedly with his hands, like he always did when he got passionate about a subject..  “I mean we are talking about Steve McGarrett here.. He is doing everything he can Kono to get you back on five-o..”. 

It wasn’t like she wanted to be angry.. No, she didn’t want to be angry at all.. She could easily blame the team but they were in it together and there was no way she was going to say a word of that to internal affairs.. She did what she had to do in order to save her cousin’s life and it was something she would have done over and over again exactly the same way if she had her chance again, but staying angry was her way of distancing herself from the team, from learning about her cover.. 

“What if I don’t want to be part of five-o anymore Danny?”.. Those words weren’t meant to hurt as much as they did, for her or Danny, but they did.. They stung a lot. Five-O was her home, it was her family... She had a close relationship with her parents, but  lot of her extended family had shun her as well when she sided with Chin.. So being apart of Five-O and having Steve, Chin and Danny around.. It meant more to her then anything so to say that really broke her apart. 

Shaking his head, he felt the tears welling in his eyes.. “I’ma gonna pretend you didn’t say that Kono.. You belong there, You know, I know it.. We all know it.. Is it because of you’re feelings for Steve? I know you have feelings for him Kono.. I see the looks.. I know it.. because I saw that look on my own face whenever I thought of Rachel..You know what he has been through.. what you have both been through..

My advice.. Don’t shut him out Kono.. He hides it well, but he needs you more then I think you realize.. I see him whenever he has tried to call or text you.. The look he gets whenever he sees it’s been read but gone unanswered, he is like a wounded puppy”. 

How was it that Danny could tell how she felt about Steve? She had thought she had hid her feelings for him well, but obviously not if Danny was weighing in about it all.. She wasn’t going to deny it, it was useless, but she was going to give him an explanation “I can’t Danny.. I’m a disgraced cop, my name has been tarnished and there is no way Steve could want me like that with all that baggage.. besides..  how in the hell can I even think about competing with Catherine?” 

The tears were welling in her eyes, a lump in her throat that she couldn’t get rid of and her tough exterior was crumbling to the ground as she spoke those words.. That was why she couldn’t ever tell Steve.. He had Catherine and in her eyes, Catherine was perfect.. She was beautiful, smart.. athletic.. a role model, Kono didn’t feel worthy of Steve’s love and attention.. 

Danny walked up to her and put both arms on either of her shoulders, leaning his body away and down to catch her gaze, “You and I both know that Steve is not that kind of guy.. He meant what he said that day we presented you with those graduation gifts.. He would do anything and everything he can to protect you Kono, and as far as Catherine and Steve... Even she will say she is far from perfect... Honestly.. If you love him.. and I think personally, I think you do.. You should say something.. We both know that superSEAL won’t.. So you will have to..”

Looking at her, his eyes gentle, he sighed softly.. “At least think about it okay.. and please.. I know that this is hard on you but don’t do this.. Don’t wallow for too long.. and lean on us.. We’re your family Kono”. Those words cut like a knife through her.. Even as she nodded her head in agreement, she knew that she wouldn’t be doing it.. She couldn’t.. Not whilst she was undercover for Fryer.. She couldn’t risk it.. but at least she knew that once this was all over, Five-O would welcome her back with open arms... 

It did make it all a little easier.. 

“I will”, was her response, hugging him tight before walking him to the door.. “It’s getting late.. you should go... call Grace, say goodnight before she goes to bed.. I’ll talk to you soon”, she had to reassure him.. Had to make him believe her and once she had, they said their good nights and he had left... It hurt her heart to push him away like that.. He was her family after all but now that she was slowly getting into the crowd that Delano ran with, she couldn’t risk being seeing with Five-O.. 

Sighing, leaning her back to the now closed front door, she was alone again.. With her thoughts.. which always came back to one singular person.. McGarrett.. While she knew Danny was right, that Catherine was most likely far from perfect and had chips in her own armor, she still felt unsure about making her feelings known to Steve.. She didn’t want to be the one that potentially ruined a good relationship, but at the same time.. She also didn’t want to be the one that always missed her chance.. 

Maybe one day... 

One day she might at least give him the option.. Maybe he felt the same and just didn’t know how she felt.. Maybe that is what Danny was alluding to when he mentioned how sad Steve looked when Kono didn’t respond to him.. 

That night Kono found herself falling asleep, dreaming of a life where she was the main star in Steve’s life, the love of his life, and slept soundly all night long, a soft smile lingering on her lips... 

Danny is right as always.. Was the last thing she thought before drifting off.... 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there Readers.. 
> 
> I am so sorry this one took so long to get out.. I did promise something last week, but I was unable to write on Sunday as I got my eyes checked and had drops put into my eyes which made my eyesight blurry for a few hours.. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter and enjoy this one.. I am planning on doing something similar for next chapter, this time Danny talking to Steve about Kono and also about how he feels for both Catherine and Kono.. I love writing scenes when Danny is giving practical and good advice.. He is very much in touch with his feelings and it shows. 
> 
> After that, the next 2 chapters might be a reflection of the first time Kono and Steve met..A more in depth scene, One from Kono’s point of view and the other from Steve’s point of view.. 
> 
> I still haven’t decided what to do with Catherine Rollins.. I am going to make this a McKono end game so as much as I love McRoll, I won’t have Catherine and Steve together.
> 
> I might do something similar to what has been happening in the show whereas Catherine left in season 6 and Steve told her he couldn’t wait for her.. but I might do that a little earlier in the game rather rather then season 6 where it actually happened.. 
> 
> The other option I am thinking about was to not kill off Billy Harrington and have Catherine and Steve end this mutually and Steve getting with Kono and Billy with Catherine.. 


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